SOS: Save Your Drowning Lawyer

Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

A: Take your foot off his head.

How to Tell Shame From Pity

Q: What’s the difference between a shame and a pity?

A: If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff, and there are no survivors, that’s known as a pity. If there were any empty seats, that’s a shame.

Lawyer Without a Parachute

Q: What happens to a lawyer who jumps out of a plane at 35,000 feet without a parachute?

A: Who cares.