District Attorney: Judge, I would object to Counsel’s characterization of this disagreement. He is giving a one-sided view.
Judge: Of course he is. That is what you expect from a trial attorney.
(from an actual court transcript)
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Q. What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should? A. Stick his bill up his ass.
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? A: You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline.
Q: How was copper wire invented? A: Two lawyers arguing over a penny.
Q: What’s the difference between an attorney and a pit bull? A: Jewelry.
Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one.
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