District Attorney: Judge, I would object to Counsel’s characterization of this disagreement. He is giving a one-sided view.
Judge: Of course he is. That is what you expect from a trial attorney.
(from an actual court transcript)
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A young lawyer, defending a businessman in a lawsuit, feared the worst. He asked a senior partner whether he ought to send the judge a box of Havana cigars. “The judge is an honourable man”, the horrified partner exclaimed. If you do, I guarantee you’ll lose the case!” The judge eventually ruled in favor of the young lawyer’s client. “ Aren’t you glad you didn’t send those cigars?” the senior partner asked. “I did send them,” the lawyer said. “I just enclosed the opposition’s business card.”
The family of a California man has filed a first-of-its-kind wrongful death lawsuit against the owner of a property where he was fatally stabbed during an illegal cockfight by a razor-sharp “spur” attached to a fighting rooster. The bird apparently pierced the leg of Jose Luis Ochoa, 35, cutting a vein, as police were breaking up the Jan. 30 cockfight in a remote area of Tulare County. A police sergeant said people started fleeing and, in the commotion, “One of the roosters jumped at the decedent.” Continue reading the full story.
Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers. ~Frank McKinney Hubbard
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