Perfecting One-sided Arguments

District Attorney:  Judge, I would object to Counsel’s characterization of this disagreement.  He is giving a one-sided view.

Judge:  Of course he is.  That is what you expect from a trial attorney.

(from an actual court transcript)

Playing Dirty

A young lawyer, defending a businessman in a lawsuit, feared the worst. He asked a senior partner whether he ought to send the judge a box of Havana cigars. “The judge is an honourable man”, the horrified partner exclaimed. If you do, I guarantee you’ll lose the case!” The judge eventually ruled in favor of the young lawyer’s client. “ Aren’t you glad you didn’t send those cigars?” the senior partner asked. “I did send them,” the lawyer said. “I just enclosed the opposition’s business card.”

California Family Sues Illegal Cockfight Site Owner For Wrongful Death

The family of a California man has filed a first-of-its-kind wrongful death lawsuit against the owner of a property where he was fatally stabbed during an illegal cockfight by a razor-sharp “spur” attached to a fighting rooster.

The bird apparently pierced the leg of Jose Luis Ochoa, 35, cutting a vein, as police were breaking up the Jan. 30 cockfight in a remote area of Tulare County. A police sergeant said people started fleeing and, in the commotion, “One of the roosters jumped at the decedent.”

Continue reading the full story.

Quotation: Litigation Is A Form Of Hell…

Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to that of lawyers.

~Frank McKinney Hubbard